Title: Say Goodbye

Rating: G

Fandom: United States Women’s Gymnastics Team

Song: Say Goodbye by S Club 7

Notes: I do not own the characters or the song featured. I shall say that this is completely inspired by this fic by shawty_swingz. Angst, I tell you, angst! Oh and here’s a download link to the song, just in case you don’t have it. Please put the song in repeat; makes the fic more dramatic, HAHA! *Places a box of tissue on an imaginary LJ table*

Summary: It is the final day the entire team has together as one unit in Beijing before they take their separate roads in life once they return home.

It was the final day that Alicia Sacramone, Bridget Sloan, Chellsie Memmel, Nastia Liukin, Samantha Peszek and Shawn Johnson would spend a day all together as one bonded unit-a family-before they returned home to America and went their separate ways. Sure, the tour would somehow get them back together, but it wouldn’t be the same; not everyone would be there all in the same day-everything was going to be different. The six girls all found themselves in Nastia and Shawn’s room, lying on the two beds that had been pushed together, looking at each other in silence. They thought about having some kind of reunion every so often because they were more than teammates, they were friends, they were sisters; abandoning each other was not an option, but they knew that their schedules would be gruelling at some point and that not everyone would be able to make it.

The thought of actually splitting up and going back to their own lives was something hard for all of them to comprehend. They had spent so many months together that they couldn’t really see themselves without the others around. All the bonds had been created and for them to be slowly strained due to absence, it wasn’t the brightest thought for any of them. It also didn’t help that Nastia was leaving for America the following day while all of them were bound to stay a couple days longer or until the closing ceremonies, it made the reality of separation that much more real.

“I really don’t want to leave,” Shawn whispered, looking across to see Samantha looking back at her with eyes mirroring her own anxiety. She reached out with her right hand and entwined them with Samantha, feeling another hand entwine with her left. She took a deep breath and sighed as she felt Nastia hold her hand as she crawled up and lied behind her, holding her.

“I don’t think any of us do,” Alicia breathed, as she slowly crawled up behind Samantha, mirroring Nastia and Shawn’s position. She looked up and saw that Chellsie and Bridget were in the same position; all three pairs making a relative circle.

“I’m really going to miss you guys,” Bridget choked out, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She took a deep breath and willed for them to stay back, but every passing second and thought made her willpower wane. She felt Chellsie rub her arm, trying to comfort her, and it did to an extent.

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

All six of them had tears forming in their eyes, but all of them willed them back; they wanted to be strong for one another. Saying goodbye wasn’t going to be easy if they had trouble thinking about it. They all looked at each other and remembered the days when they would practice together, eat together and hang out together, wishing that it would never end.

“I don’t want to say goodbye…” Nastia whispered, her face pressed up against Shawn’s shoulder. She couldn’t handle the reality that it was almost over. She took a deep breath and looked up at the other girls, seeing a knowing and understanding look on all their faces which partially eased her heart.

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it’s the hardest thing to say
I’ll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don’t you cry
‘Cause true love never dies

“No one does, Nast, but we all have to eventually. What am I saying, we’ll eventually see each other down the road, this isn’t goodbye, it’s more like a see you later,” Alicia replied back, her voice cracking as tried to hold back her tears. She half-laughed, hoping to lighten up the mood, but she saw the unchanged looks and sighed, pulling Samantha closer to her.

In a year from now
Maybe there’ll be things
we’ll wish we’d never said

Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it’s the hardest thing to say
I’ll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye (so say goodbye)
But don’t you cry
‘Cause true love never dies

“I wish everything didn’t have to happen so fast, I just want to stay with you guys forever,” Chellsie breathed, watching as everyone held onto each other as if they were their last lifeline. She, too, tightened her hold on Bridget, wishing time would stand still.

“We’ll see each other, maybe not all at once, but we will. We’ll figure something out during the tour, all of us will stay in one city and just hang out,” Shawn stated, wiping her eyes from the tears that threatened to spill down her face. She saw the half-smiles on the others as she tightened her grip on Samantha and Nastia’s hands.

“It’s not the end, why are we freaking out like we’ll never see each other?” Bridget asked, already knowing the answer, but the question nagged at her.

“Because we live miles apart… our lives are going to change once we leave Beijing,” Samantha answered, looking over at Bridget, seeing the sadness in her eyes.

“Well, why are we just lying here then? If this is our final day, shouldn’t we try to make the best of it? There is no way I’m going leave Beijing depressed,” Alicia stated, pushing herself off of the bed into a sitting position. She looked over at everyone else and sighed. “Come on… as team captain, I say we go out.”

“Alicia…” Nastia quietly drawled out, watching as the other girl began to pull everyone up into sitting positions.

“Seriously, I’m not letting us waste this perfectly good day. Today is our last day and we’re making the best of it, got that? Nastia’s leaving tomorrow and then we’ll all leave for our own lives; this is our day, so let’s get on it,” Alicia stated, but she immediately wanted to bite her tongue when she saw Shawn’s tears freely flowing down her face. She realized that reality was truly setting on the younger girl and all she could do was crawl over to Shawn and pull her into a hug.

And when you need my arms to run into
I’ll comfort you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it’s the hardest thing to say
I’ll miss your love in every day
So say goodbye
But don’t you cry
`Cause a true love never dies

Everyone eventually joined into creating a group hug. All of them held onto each other and soon all their tears were flowing down their faces and none of them were willing to make it stop, it was their moment; their bond as a family. They knew that despite this turn in their lives that everything would be okay, everything would turn out for the best. Nothing would break their bond and nothing would forever separate them; they were a team, they were friends, they would never let each other go.

“I love you guys and know that it’s never going to be goodbye, it will always be a see you later,” Alicia whispered.

The quiet din of cars passing through the streets beneath the hotel did nothing to calm the Russian Olympic medalist. Nastia Liukin, America’s golden Olympian, who seemed to be able to focus, concentrate and take control of any situation given to her, felt at a loss.

To her honesty, Nastia felt challenged; more challenged than being in the Olympics. She had no idea why one little thought kept her from staying calm and collected. Every time she thought about that one little idea, she seemed to unravel and lose control; falling into the abyss she called her feelings.

A crush.

That was the ‘little idea’ that constantly put Nastia swirl into a spiral of inner conflict. To Nastia, a crush was simply something small and nothing to lose sleep over; her many boy crushes never affected her so much, but this crush was more than she expected. That one night where she watched Shawn sleep soundly on the bus had her emotionally and mentally conflicted. The way the younger girl managed to unintentionally put her entranced had her reeling. She had no explanation why that night made her see Shawn in a different light, but it did and she knew that her life changed from that night.

Tonight, Nastia began to examine the thoughts and feelings she felt that night and everything seemed to fall back to something that told her she had a crush on her best friend; not a friendly crush that meant admiration or adoration, but a crush that involved the longing for the other to like them in the same way. She knew it was completely irrational to have a crush on her best friend because for one thing, they were girls and girls do not have these kind of crushes on other girls; theoretically. However, theory exists so much in the real world and in the real world, unexpected things are bound to happen, and this was completely unexpected.

An anxious groan came from Nastia as she started to delve deeper into her feelings once again. She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face into her pillow as thoughts began to rush into her mind. All the ‘what if’ questions bombarded her; what if she really did have a crush on Shawn, what if Shawn found out, what if her parents found out, what if everyone found out, what if she liked Shawn for more than a friend, what if she did succumb to her crush? The questions continued to pile into her head and Nastia could do nothing to make it stop. She tried to think of something else, but it somehow led back to Shawn and her crush, which was driving her to the edge.

The quiet monotonous sound from the vibrations of the cellphone had Nastia blindly reaching out for the device. She wondered who would be calling her at that ungodly hour, but any distraction would suffice (in her mind) to keep her on track. She found her phone and lifted her head to see who was calling.

“Is this a sign or something?” Nastia muttered to herself incredulously, noticing it was Shawn who was trying to contact her. She realized that Shawn left her a message and she flicked her phone to read the little note.

‘Hey Nast, are you asleep? Sorry if I woke you, I really can’t sleep.’ Nastia quietly chuckled at the text message; that was Shawn for her, the text messages in the early mornings asking if she was awake. Usually, she would actually be asleep only to wake up and answer the text, but tonight was not one of those nights; she was awake, wide awake. Though conflicted, Nastia answered the text replying that she was awake and that it was okay for her to message her; they were best friends after all. She sighed and buried her face back into her pillow, holding her phone in her hand.

“Should I really be doing this, right now?” Nastia mumbled to herself against her pillow. Before she could go into an internal monologue about what she was doing, her cellphone began to vibrate in her hand. Once again, she pulled her head away from her pillow to look at the display on her phone and saw Shawn actually calling her.

“This is a sign, isn’t it?” She smirked and answered her phone. “Hey, what’s up?” A quiet breathing was all Nastia could hear and she wondered what was going on.

“Hey, you sound really awake,” Shawn whispered, noting Nastia’s bright voice. She rarely ever found Nastia awake so early and so chipper, but there was a first time for anything, right?

“I couldn’t really sleep… too much on my mind I guess,” Nastia quietly replied back, holding herself back with the thought that something might slip. She heard a suppressed laugh from the other line and it made her smile.

“Miss Nastia Liukin, unable to sleep because she has too much on her mind? You slept like a baby before every competition, what changed?” Nastia half-heartedly laugh at Shawn’s response; always the observant one.

“You,” Nastia whispered back and her eyes completely widened at what she said. She pressed her face into her pillow and moved her phone away, groaning loudly into her pillow, realizing she said something that she did not mean to say. She brought her phone back to her ear, waiting for a reply; hoping that Shawn did not hear her whatsoever. Thoughts began to rush madly back into her mind and new ‘what-if’ questions appeared; this was not good. She waited and waited, but there was a silence and it was beginning to make her nervous. She felt her heart thundering in her ears from the anxiety and her palms growing sweatier by the passing second. Did Shawn hear her?

“What was that? I sort of spaced out…” Shawn trailed off into a silence. Little did she know that Nastia was ready to pass out in her room. However, she did hear a deep sigh from the other end of the line, but she thought nothing of it, thinking that Nastia was annoyed that she spaced out.

“Stupid Freudian slips…” Nastia breathed, rubbing her free hand over her face.

“What was that?” Nastia froze and cleared her throat, slapping her forehead.

“Nothing, I think I’m just tired- making me speak really random things,” She replied back, trying to sound as inconspicuous as possible, but her tone sounded otherwise. Luckily, she managed to keep herself from rambling on and eventually setting herself up for defeat.

“Oh… do you want me to leave you alone?” Nastia smacked her forehead again and rubbed her face; wondering what was going on with her. She took a deep breath and tried to collect herself so something she actually wanted to say would come out instead of some random thing.

“No, it’s okay, it’s not like I’m tired to the point of passing out, just tired because it’s late. You don’t have to leave, you’re not doing anything,” Nastia took a deep breath and realized she did not completely withhold herself entirely from rambling. “No, don’t leave me alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Shawn, always the thoughtful one,” Nastia thought, rolling onto her back as she looked up at the ceiling. “Yes, I’m sure. Anyways, Miss Johnson, why are you still awake?” She heard Shawn giggle on the other end, making her smile.

“If you must know, the tour’s starting to get to me actually; I can’t sleep, I’m getting kind of homesick,” Shawn quietly replied back, answering Nastia’s question.

Nastia quietly sighed at Shawn’s statement. She knew how much the other girl missed being at home after arriving from Beijing; she said so during one of the day offs in the tour. She, too, also missed home; all the interviews and all the promotions she had to do was starting to take a toll on her as well. Even if all she did was fun, it was still tiring.

“So do I, Shawn, so do I. Once the tour is over, we can go home and just relax,” Nastia replied back, hearing a quiet snort from the other line.

“Will I still get to see you?” Shawn’s voice pulled at Nastia’s heart; the sound of apprehension and anxiety evident. The possible look of sadness on Shawn’s face passed through Nastia’s mind and it made her frown; she wanted to run to Shawn and hold her and tell her that everything would be okay.

“Yeah, of course you’ll see me, why do you think you won’t?” Nastia quietly asked, knowing that Shawn would give her an explanation that would undoubtedly have her thinking, after hearing her sigh.

“Come on Nast, what do you think? Once the tour is over, you’ll either be doing more interviews or promos so that will obviously take up your time and those times when you actually have time to breathe, you’d probably want to spend your down time alone after spending nearly three months with other people. Besides, you’ll be occupied trying to figure out university because you’ll be starting off not so later after the tour, so I won’t be able to see you. When you go to SMU, then you’ll be completely occupied, so seriously Nast… will I still get to see you?” Nastia fell silent. All that Shawn said was true, she would become busier once the tour was over; university, possibly more endorsements, there may be little time for herself when she thought about it. She deeply sighed and covered her eyes with her free hand and really wondered what she was going to say. She did not want to raise Shawn’s hopes with her own uncertainty and she did not want to lie to Shawn for the sake of making her feel better or herself better.

“Shawn…” Was all she could muster up and say.

“Nastia… will I see you when all of this is over?” Shawn’s voice started to make Nastia break; the fear in Shawn was starting to go through her.

“Yes… yes you will. I will do whatever I can to see you, okay? We’re best friends, and best friends always stick together, right? I’m not going to let you go or stop seeing you, so stop acting like we’ll never see each other again, got that?” Nastia was determined to convince Shawn that things would turn out. She had no idea how things would turn out because it was still early to say anything for sure, but some things were definite such as university.

“Are you by yourself?” Shawn’s question caught Nastia off guard, throwing her into a loop.

Title: Who Do You Think You Are
Rating: G
Fandom: USWGT
Song: Who Do You Think You Are – Spice Girls
Notes: I do not own the people referred in here nor do I own the song that is featured and the song that is mentioned. I heard the song and I had to write something on it. Completely Alternate Universe-it almost went with the tour timeline, but apparently not.
Summary: One song, one impromptu dance party, one party pooper. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Luckily, that night was one of the nights where everyone could finally relax. Alicia, Shawn, Bridget, Chellsie and Samantha all barged into Nastia’s hotel room, dragging a large stereo with them. Nastia had no say as to whether or not everyone could simply waltz into her room considering Alicia nearly brought down her door with her pounding and that everyone was yelling to get in. Unfortunately for her, sleeping early was completely gone. She sat on the edge of her bed as she watched as Alicia dropped the large stereo on the floor while Samantha pulled out a CD from a case she was holding. She had no idea why everyone wanted to be in her room at that hour; 10:00 being quite late in her eyes, with a stereo. Suddenly, music began to loudly blare from the speakers of the stereo and all that Nastia could do was fall back onto her bed and grab her pillow, pulling it onto her face.

“The race is on to get out of the bottom,” Alicia half-sang, half-called out as she hopped towards Samantha.

“The top is high so your roots are forgotten,” Samantha half-sang as well, looking at Alicia.

“Giving is good, as long as you’re getting,” Chellsie loudly sang, looking over at Bridget.

“What’s driving you is ambition and betting,” Shawn sang, walking over to Nastia and ripping the pillow away from the older girl’s face. She grinned at the exasperated look on Nastia’s face as she pulled her up onto her feet.

“I said-ah who do you think you are, do you think you are, I said-ah who some kind of superstar, you have got to!” Bridget continued on, looking over her shoulder at Shawn and Nastia; noticing the deadpanned look on Nastia’s face.

“Swing it, shake it, move it, make it, who do you think you are? Trust it, use it, prove it, groove, show me how good you are! Swing it, shake it, move it, make it, who do you think you are? Trust it, use it, prove it, groove, show how good you are!” Nastia’s jaw dropped during the chorus and she fell back onto her bed when she saw all of her friends doing the same choreography-the exact choreography for the song that the Spice Girls did for their concerts. She thought that the Soulja Boi dance was something she would never understand, but this, this took the cake. However, she found herself being pulled back onto her feet when Shawn grabbed her hands and pulled her up; the younger girl was not going to leave her on the bed.

“Don’t be a party pooper, Nast!” Shawn called out, over the loud music. She pulled Nastia further from the bed to make sure she would not collapse on it again. She was determined to get Nastia to dance, even if it meant coercing her to do so.

“You’re swelling out in the wrong direction,” Alicia sang, taking Samantha’s hands into her own; both of them jumping onto the bed and leaping on it.

“You’ve got the bug, superstar you’ve been bitten!” Samantha half-sang and half-laughed as she and Alicia kept jumping on the bed.

“Your trumpet’s blowing for far too long!” Shawn and Chellsie cried out.

“Climbing the snake up the ladder, but you’re wrong!” Samantha and Alicia both called out, jumping off the bed and landing beside Nastia and Shawn, completely ignoring the tenants beneath them.

“I said-ah who do you think you are, do you think are! I said-ah who some kind of superstar, you have go to!” Bridget came in, taking Chellsie’s hand and pulling her to create a small circle around Nastia and Shawn. Nastia sighed and covered her face with her hands as her friends began to do the same choreographed routine for the chorus again. All of them were singing loudly and she knew that she would get kicked out of her room or the hotel for that matter because of this.

“Swing it, shake it, move it, make it, who do you think you are? Trust it, use it, prove it, groove, show me how good you are! Swing it, shake it, move it, make it, who do you think you are? Trust it, use it, prove it, groove, show how good you are!” Everyone began to hip bump each other during the small break; everyone was laughing and smiling during the entire thing despite Nastia completely staying silent and giving everyone death glares that could have possibly killed them all. Suddenly, everyone stopped and Shawn pulled away Nastia’s hands from her face and pointed towards the older girl. Nastia could see the determination on Shawn’s face, but she was not going to give in; not now, not ever.

“You have got to reach on up, never lose your soul. You have got to reach on up, never lose control!” Shawn sung by herself, pointing from Nastia to the ceiling, slowly wagging her finger down before pointing back to Nastia and doing the same actions again.

“Come on, Nastia, you can’t beat us or girl power!” Alicia called out, trying to coax the other girl into joining them.

“I said-ah who do you think you are, do you think are! I said-ah who some kind of superstar, you have go to!” Everyone, but Nastia, loudly sang, noticing the unchanged deadpanned look on the Russian’s face. However, when the chorus came, they heard a loud grunt in disapproval, but saw faint smile on Nastia’s face.

“Swing it, shake it, move it, make it, who do you think you are? Trust it, use it, prove it, groove, show me how good you are! Swing it, shake it, move it, make it, who do you think you are? Trust it, use it, prove it, groove, show how good you are!” Nastia finally joined in, realizing that if she couldn’t beat them that she would have to join them. She shook her head as she took part of the group choreographed routine for the chorus but when the chorus came up again, she sang all the other parts and grabbed Shawn’s hands, swinging her around.

“Swing! Shake! Move it! Make it! Trust it! Use it! Prove it! Groove it!” Nastia sang quite loudly, louder than the others and as the song came to an end, she collapsed on her bed, pulling Shawn down with her. The two looked at each other and the others all looked at each other and grinned before quickly bolting out of the room, dimming the lights down. To their unknown amusement, 2 Become 1 began to play.

Title: I Love You From Afar

Pairing: Alicia/ Nastia, Shawn/Nastia (squint for this pairing) Alicia/Sam (squint for this one too)

Song: What Hurts the Most – Rascal Flatts/ Cascada/ Jo O’ Meara

Rating: PG

Notes: I do not own the song, nor the characters. This is rather angsty stuff, so be warned- if you’re depressed, don’t read this yet. Takes place during the Beijing Olympics. Please note that I may be emphasizing some things that may be seen disagreeable (it’s in the first couple of lines… ha… ha…), but consider it from the character’s point of view, not mine.

Summary: She has to smile even when it hurts.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don’t bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out

I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok

But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I’m doin’ It

It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most was being

so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

I’m saying that loving you

That’s what I was tryin’ to do

Alicia dejectedly walked into the room she shared with Samantha, despite their efforts of winning silver in the gymnastics team finals. Even though the majority of the team suffered point deductions throughout the finals, she felt that she made the team suffer immensely with her performances. She fell off the balance beam from a mount she had continuously attempted to perfect prior the Olympics and she fell again in her floor routine. It was supposed to be her moment; a comeback, but it turned out disastrous. She was supposed to be seen as the one who had the experience to keep her cool during these kinds of times, but she let her nerves get to her, making her do those avoidable mistakes.

“Alicia… it’s not your fault,” Samantha whispered, trying to console the other girl. She watched as Alicia pad for her bed, climbing in and sitting at the head of the bed, with her knees pulled up and arms around her legs. She followed the other girl and sat beside her, wrapping a comforting arm around her.

“How the hell isn’t it my fault?” Alicia thought, leaning her head against her knees. She believed that because of her falls, it degraded the morale of the team, which made Nastia and Shawn step out of bounds during their floor routine.

“Alicia, it could’ve happened to anyone at anytime. You can’t blame yourself for this because you’re a great gymnast and all great gymnasts will have their faults,” Samantha tried to explain, rubbing her hand across Alicia’s back. Unfortunately for her, she was met with a very strong reply.

“How do I not blame myself, Sam? I was supposed to be the comeback kid and be that gymnast that would secure the U. S. Team the gold, but no, I came back and ended up screwing us over!” Alicia snapped back, her anger and frustration resonating in her voice. She looked over at the other girl and saw the shocked look on her face which made her mentally curse herself.

“Alicia-” Alicia raised her hand and interjected.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of said that.” Samantha sighed, but nodded. She knew what the other girl was going through, so she couldn’t tell her off about getting over what she was feeling- not yet. Instead, she pulled Alicia into a hug and kissed her on the temple.

“I’ll let you brood… but if you’re still brooding by the time we get back to America… well be prepared to deal with me,” Samantha snickered, pulling away, looking over at the other girl. She saw the faint smile on Alicia’s face which made her smile.

“Thanks…” Alicia whispered, watching the other girl stand up from the bed.

“I’m here for you if you need to talk, okay?” Alicia half-smiled and nodded, watching the other girl nod back towards her before walking towards the bathroom. She leant her head back against her knees as she heard the bathroom door close and the shower run. The feelings of guilt, frustration and anger surged through her, but she couldn’t do anything about; well she could, but it would have counted as something irrational.

“Augh.” Alicia groaned and realized staying in the room wasn’t going to make her feel any better. She climbed out of the bed and looked at herself in the mirror, staring at the silver medal that hung around her neck. Out of irritation, she pulled the medal off of her neck and tossed it onto the bed before changing out of her uniform into a pair of jeans and a blue long sleeved shirt.

As she headed towards the door of the room, Alicia half-opened the door before questioning whether or not she should tell Samantha she was leaving; for all she knew, the other girl might jump to conclusions about her disappearance. She risked it, walking out of the door without a word.

Samantha, realizing she forgot something, went back into the bedroom. She opened the bathroom door to find Alicia still brooding on the bed, but the other girl wasn’t there. She didn’t let it faze her, knowing that the older girl needed her space and that she wanted to process all that had happened on her own. She also noticed that Alicia’s medal was lying haphazardly on the bed with her uniform. She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, noticing the slightly torn seam on the ribbon. Picking up the medal in one hand, Samantha started to the trace the medal with her other hand.

“Oh Alicia…” Samantha whispered, covering the medal with both of her hands.

***

Alicia started to make her way down the long hallway towards the elevator. She believed that a walk outside would be nice or at least a break outside would do her some good. She clasped her hands behind her neck as she kept her gaze towards the floor, trying to understand how she could do perform so bad that night. Her teammates were doing so well with their events, but when it came to her, where it mattered possibly the most, she failed. The first fall on the beam was something she could live with and get over, but falling a second time on the floor; that was simply much more harder to live with. She felt that her falls shook the rest of the team up which led to their faults, but it could have been much more complicated than that. Nonetheless, she felt responsible for the team’s loss; especially one person’s loss.

“It’s going to be okay…” A sweet voice whispered inside her head.

As Alicia continued to walk down the hallway, she remained mentally preoccupied which led her to walking into someone. She stumbled back a few steps, but remained standing, as she was pulled out of her thoughts.

“S-Sorry,” Alicia stammered, apologizing for the minor accident. She didn’t even bother looking up to see who she walked into, but rather kept walking along. As she took a few steps, she felt a hand cover her shoulder.

“I said I was-”

“Alicia, it’s only me, breathe.” Alicia moved her hands from behind her neck to her sides as she turned around to see who it was. She looked to see who she walked into and saw it was Nastia. Despite her feeling of comfort that it was only her teammate she walked into and not another person, she still felt anxious.

“Oh… Hey Nastia, sorry I walked into you,” Alicia breathed, turning her gaze away from the other girl. She waited for a word of dismissal, but heard none.

“It’s all right. Have you been crying?” Alicia turned her gaze back to Nastia, wondering where the other girl gained that idea. To her surprise, Alicia found tears on her cheeks as she lifted a hand to touch her face. Mildly chuckling, she wiped them away.

“Apparently,” Alicia answered, hoping she could leave. She looked over at Nastia and saw a look of worry on her face which made her even more anxious.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nastia softly asked, placing a hand on Alicia’s shoulder. She saw the internal conflict in the other girl’s eyes and she kept silent, not wanting to pressure the other girl to do something she didn’t want to.

“Sure,” Alicia breathed, only to blink several times at what she said. She didn’t mean to agree with her, she was supposed to say ‘no, it’s okay’ and move along. Before she could say anything, Alicia found herself being led down the hallway. She looked down and saw her hand clasped with Nastia’s and it made her faintly smile.

As they arrived at a door, Nastia released Alicia’s hand and pulled out her keycard, swiping it in and unlocking the door. She opened the door, and walked in, but looked back to see Alicia planted outside in the hallway.

“You can come in, it’ll be the two of us. Shawn’s parents took her out and she won’t be back until later,” Nastia explained, noticing the hesitation on Alicia’s face. She saw the other girl remain out in the hallway so out of quick-thinking, she pulled Alicia inside, closing the door behind her.

Alicia bit her lower lip as she walked in, noticing the cleanliness of the space compared to her room with Samantha. She saw Nastia’s clothes neatly folded on one of the beds and took on a seat on the edge of that bed with her hands clasped in her lap. She watched as Nastia walk over to the other bed and sit across from her, eyes boring through her.

“What’s wrong Alicia, besides the obvious?” Nastia cautiously asked, making sure she worded her question wisely.

“Nothing else is wrong, Nastia! I’m pissed off that I fell twice, that’s all,” Alicia snapped back, causing the other girl to flinch. She didn’t mean to reply like that and not to her. She rubbed her face with her hands and deeply sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Nastia reached out and took Alicia’s hands into her own, holding them. She knelt down in front of Alicia to get her to look at her and what she saw made her heart break. There were more tears falling down Alicia’s face and there was a deeper look of pain in her eyes, and from that, Nastia knew that Alicia was hurting for more than what she said.

“Alicia, tell me what’s wrong. Don’t tell me nothing else is wrong because I can see it in your eyes. Please Alicia, talk to me,” Nastia pled, looking up at the other girl. She tightened her grip around Alicia’s hands, hoping to urge her on.

“Nastia…” Alicia whispered, feeling herself continue to break inside. She looked straight down towards her lap and the tears had forcefully made their way down her cheeks.

“Alicia…it’s going to be okay,” Nastia whispered, moving from the floor. She released Alicia’s hands and sat beside her, holding her. She felt Alicia’s arms wrap around her and then she felt something go through her.

“It’s… not… going to… be okay…” Alicia stammered, trying to stay relatively coherent. She felt the arms around her tighten and it both comforted and hurt her.

“Alicia… tell me what’s wrong,” Nastia whispered, rubbing one of her hands across Alicia’s back. She pulled away as Alicia tried to look at her. She watched as the older girl took a deep breath and wiped her face with one of her hands.

“I love you,” Alicia whispered, trying to explain her pain. She saw the confused look on the other girl’s face.

“I love you too, you know that,” Nastia replied back, noticing the unease from the other girl. Alicia looked up at her and tried to speak to her with her eyes. She saw the slow understanding from Nastia.

“Alicia-”

“Nastia?” The two girls looked over at the door, hearing another voice from the other side of it.

“Yeah?” Nastia called out, wishing that the interruption didn’t occur.

“Can you let me in, I kind of forgot my keycard.” Nastia shut her eyes and released an irritated breath. She released her hold on Alicia and stood up, walking over to the side table and retrieving the spare keycard that was on top of it. She walked over to the door and opened it, looking down at the other person.

“Explain to me how you can forget your keycard,” Nastia stated, raising an eyebrow at her roommate as she held up the card in front of her.

“I’m sorry, but I forgot to put it back in my wallet before I went to sleep,” Shawn honestly explained, looking up at her best friend. She started to put on a pout, hoping she could get away with this mistake knowing how much Nastia would be annoyed. She saw the rather frustrated look on the blonde’s face and saw that she started to soften. She heard the taller girl release an irritated sigh before pulling her into a hug.

“If you weren’t cute, I would kick you out,” Nastia stated, lightly squeezing the other girl.

Alicia stood up from the bed and cautiously look around the corner to see Nastia and Shawn hugging each other. She wiped her tears with the back of her hands despite the feeling of new tears starting to brim in her eyes. She felt her heart break at the sight and she knew that she didn’t have a chance.

“All right, all right, I’m sorry about my keycard, but I really have to go. My parents are waiting for me,” Shawn stated, pulling away from Nastia. She saw the questioning look on Nastia’s face and sighed.

“You didn’t leave yet?”

“They asked me if I had my keycard and I checked my wallet only to remember I left if here. Now, if you don’t mind, I have some shopping to do,” Shawn brightly smiled, hugging Nastia once more before taking her keycard and taking off down the hallway. Nastia lightly laughed before walking back into her room. She closed the door and saw Alicia even more broken than before. She was about to say something, but the older girl raised her hand and walked past her.

“It’s about you two, not you and me,” Alicia breathed as she kept stepping back towards the door.

“Alicia…” Nastia whispered.

“You don’t love me like that, you love her,” Alicia stated, wiping her face one last time before turning around and opening the door. She blindly walked out, only to walk into someone once again.

“Oh, sorry,” Shawn apologized, stepping back to see who she walked into. Alicia shut her eyes and plastered on a smile as she turned towards the younger girl.

“It’s okay,” Alicia replied back, keeping her eyes shut. To her surprise, she found herself enveloped into another hug which opened her eyes.

“It’ll be okay, Alicia. You have your friends to back you up and never forget you’re alone,” Shawn whispered, instantly thinking that it was the finals that was unnerving the other girl. However, she did know the real reason why Alicia was feeling what she felt; she could see.

“Thanks Shawn,” Alicia whispered, hugging the other girl.

“You’ll get through this… and what you truly feel,” Shawn quietly whispered, hoping Nastia didn’t hear her. She pulled away from the taller girl and smiled at her, noticing the relative shock on Alicia’s face. She gave Alicia a knowing look which spoke words to her.

“I’ll see you two later…” Alicia whispered, before walking away.

As Alicia turned the corner, Nastia looked over at Shawn with a questioning look. The younger girl looked up at her and shrugged.

“What? I forgot my hat,” Shawn replied back, walking past the other girl. Nastia shook her head as she watched the other girl walk into the room. She couldn’t help but think of what Alicia said and how she looked at her. She knew what the older girl meant and she wanted to talk to her, but she walked away. She knew she had to talk to her again, hopefully with no disruptions.

***

As Alicia walked into her shared hotel room, she saw Samantha newly showered wearing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt sitting on her bed, holding her medal. The younger girl stood up and dropped the medal on the bed before walking towards her, pulling her into a hug. Now, the onslaught of tears had come; Alicia couldn’t hold them back anymore.

“It’s going to be okay,” Samantha whispered, rubbing her hand across Alicia’s back. Alicia kept crying, thinking about everything.

“I wanted to say thank you for being there for me. I wanted to say I’m sorry for ruining our chances. I wanted to say I hate it when I love you because it hurts. I wanted to say that I loved those times we spent together. I wanted to say that I felt special every time you came to me for help. I wanted you to be proud of me today, but I failed. Now, I failed again… I just walked away from you and all I wanted to do was love you.”

***

Here’s the thing, I feel that this is complete, but still incomplete. I would continue on, but then I would need another song. Here’s the deal: would you like to see a sequel to this? If so, should I continue the pairing, or change it to the latter of the three pairings listed?

Autumn leaves turn to brown
Just like dreams get swept away
Spring always comes around
Till the first summer’s day
And I hope there never comes a time
Where life seems to pass you by
Cause you must realize

Cause everything in life will change
With every rainbow there is rain
Nothing stays the same
Years will pass and we will grow
One thing you’ll always know
That I love you now for all the things you are
And all that you’ll be

Even if we don’t have it all
We have all that we need
You know I’ll catch you when you fall
You start to doubt
But you believe
The future is impossible to see
And no matter what we become
You’ll be a part of me

Cause everything in life will change
With every rainbow there is rain
Nothing stays the same
Years will pass and we will grow
One thing you’ll always know
That I love you now for all the things you are
And all that you’ll be

You don’t have to worry about a thing
We move in different ways
But we’re still the same
And I will love
All that you’ll be

Cause everything in life will change
With every rainbow there is rain
Nothing stays the same
Years will pass and we will grow
One thing you’ll always know
That I love you now for all the things you are
And for everything you become
Cause I love who you are
And all that you’ll be

Shawn laid on her stomach on her hotel room bed, staring mindlessly at the laptop screen in front of her. She had her headphones plugged in and in her ears. She was tuned in an online radio station and she had requested a song that managed to reach the top of queue, considering it started to play instantly. She loved the song and she loved its melody, but she didn’t love the feeling it gave her.

Shawn felt displaced every time she listened to the song. She knew the song’s meaning could be used in a platonic friendship or a very deep relationship, but she always saw the song with a deep meaning and it made her hurt in a way that was confusing unto herself.

The song itself had a dedication and it was said on-air, but Shawn knew that the recipient of the dedication was not tuned in– it was an online radio station. The DJ of the radio station had let the song fade out before coming in to do a short voice segment.

“That was Emma Bunton with All That You’ll Be, dedicated to Miss Anastasia Liukin by ‘a special friend’ of yours. Tonight is slow jam request night, so keep sending in those requests. Keep it locked here on PhoenixTrance Online or (for those of you listening on radio) 105.3 FM.” Shawn flinched at the bump made by the DJ. She didn’t realize that the online radio station also had a radio frequency which made her think that maybe, just maybe, that Nastia could have been tuned in. Then again, the odds of that happening were slim to none.

Another song began to play and it started to wrench Shawn’s heart, so the young girl pulled off her headphones, but to her misfortune, she pulled out the headphones out of the jack as well and the song began to play from the speakers. She deeply sighed and turned the speakers off before laying her head against the bed. She closed her eyes and groaned, wishing that such songs didn’t affect her like so.

“It’s only a song…a song that means so much to me,” Shawn whimpered, opening her eyes as she began to trace the pattern on her blanket. She began to feel a burning sensation cross over her eyes and before she knew it, tears began to fall. She grabbed a pillow and buried her face in it, hoping that it would keep herself in tact, which wasn’t the case. Tears began to flow freely and soak her pillow, feelings began to overwhelm her and it scared her.

“Shawn?” The young gymnast froze at the call of her name. She knew whose voice was calling out to her, but she refused to move. She heard footsteps come closer to her bed and it made her grow anxious with every step.

“Oh crap…” Shawn thought to herself when she felt the side of her bed sink. She gripped her pillow even tighter in her hands, hoping that the other person would get the idea to leave her alone.

“Shawn, are you okay?” Shawn nodded into her pillow, hoping that it was good enough to send the other person away.

“No you’re not.”

“Well if you knew that answer all along, why did you ask?” Shawn snapped. She flinched at her action and she looked up at the other person, noticing the hurt look. “I’m sorry, Nastia– ignore what I just said.” Shawn turned away and buried her face back into her pillow, feeling a rush of guilt run through her.

“Shawn, what’s wrong?” Nastia softly asked, reaching out towards the other girl. She touched Shawn’s shoulder, but the younger girl recoiled away from her.

“Please Nast… just drop it,” Shawn whispered, pulling her face out of the pillow long enough to talk. Nastia bit her lower lip, she felt so helpless. The saddened look on Shawn’s face sunk her heart, but the tears that stained the younger girl’s face made her heart break. She wanted to pull the other girl into a hug and tell her that everything would turn out okay, but she didn’t want to risk another recoil again.

Instead, Nastia carefully turned towards the laptop that was still on and opened in front of her. She noticed the dedication page that was opened and she couldn’t help but read what was on it. She read the sent dedication and she couldn’t help but smile.

Quietly, Nastia typed in a request and a shout out, hoping the DJ would instantly bump the station with what she asked for, despite the knowledge that several other people were also waiting in line to get their requests in as well. She was ready to click send, but she saw another window opened, so she clicked the other window. The window read:

Hey Shawn John,

Thanks for tuning in on my radio station and I’m glad that it gives you your musical satisfaction. Hopefully you’re spreading the word about my station, I’m kidding, simple promotion couldn’t hurt, right? Anyways, when word had gotten out you listen to this station (which led to my getting several thousand hits), I ended up expanding my station online so many more people can tune in and I’ve also managed to find an empty frequency in nearly every major city in the world so people who don’t have a computer can listen to me on the radio. I managed to find several dedicated people around the world to collaborate with and now their home city is able to locally listen to my station on the radio. Thank you for being a listener and because of what you gave me (which was a large audience and a really huge opportunity) I’m going to give you (along with a few special other people) top queue during request times. If you have a request that you would like to have played immediately, send your request to the link provided below. Feel free to use it as many times as you like, but do keep in mind about the other listeners as well. Anyways, I will not keep you any longer so I once again say thank you and continue to listen.

DJ PhoenixTrance

Nastia raised an eyebrow and smiled as she copied and pasted her request and shout out to the new window the link in the message had provided. She typed in her name and prayed that the DJ would accept it. As she clicked ‘send,’ a feeling of nervousness and excitement began to overwhelm her.

A couple seconds passed when Nastia noticed a reply message from the DJ. She read it and smiled, realizing that her dedicated request would play right after the song being played. She checked the laptop and turned on the speaker volume. The last song was nearing it’s end and it slowly faded out. Nastia crossed her fingers, hoping that the DJ would pull their weight.

“All right guys, we have another special request tonight and we’ll be having a bit of a replay. The song is All That You’ll Be by Miss Emma Bunton, once again. This is dedicated to Miss Shawn Johnson by Miss Anastasia Liukin. I quote, “You don’t have to worry about a thing, we move in different ways, but we’re still the same and I will love all that you’ll be. I love you no matter and you will always be a part of me.” Miss Shawn Johnson, you have a great friend and hopefully you’re tuned in. Here we go, All That You’ll Be,” The DJ announced before playing the song.

As the song began to play, Nastia found herself smiling when the dedication was announced. She bit her lower lip as she glanced over at Shawn, who still hadn’t moved. However, as the song continued, Nastia could feel her heart clench and feel butterflies flutter in her stomach. She waited for Shawn to move, but the younger girl remained still.

The song continued to play and Nastia’s doubts as to whether or not Shawn would move at all started to run through her mind. She began to question if what she did was a reasonable thing to do, considering the circumstances present. The tension that filled the air started to choke her; she wanted to know that the other girl was actually okay and not feigning her feelings so she would leave.

As the song made it to the bridge, Nastia started to see Shawn’s shoulders begin to shake. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, listening to the other girl; realizing that she was crying hard into her pillow. Without a second thought, Nastia laid down beside Shawn and pulled her up against her body.

“Shawn?” Nastia quietly whispered, leaning her mouth close to Shawn’s ear. She carefully brushed Shawn’s hair away from her face, but the other girl buried her face deep into the pillow.

Shawn continued to sob deeply into her pillow, never letting up despite Nastia’s attempt to comfort her. The song started to pull at her heart and all she could do was continue to cry. She didn’t want to speak, she didn’t want to move form her position, she only wanted to cry.

Several minutes passed until Shawn’s tears subsided and she moved the pillow off of her face, letting herself breathe. She rolled onto her side, but kept her back towards the older girl. She clutched onto her pillow tightly, curling herself into a tight ball. She felt Nastia wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Shawn… talk to me,” Nastia whispered, leaning her forehead against Shawn’s head. She tightened her hold around Shawn’s, keeping her close.

“Did you mean it?” Shawn croaked, steeling herself for what was to come. Nastia deeply breathed and slowly exhaled. She contemplated as to what to say; would what she say comfort Shawn or continue to make her hurt?

“I did mean it, I do love you. You’re my best friend and you will always be a part of me,” Nastia explained, feeling Shawn go rigid against her. She raised her hand and blindly searched for Shawn’s hands, covering one of them with her own.

“Nastia…” Shawn quietly whimpered, closing her eyes.

“Shawn… tell me what’s wrong,” Nastia whispered. She closed her eyes and patiently waited.

Even more minutes passed, but Nastia remained patient. Music still played in the air, smoothly easing the tension that was in the air.

“I love you… that’s what’s wrong,” Shawn muttered, eyes still closed. She felt Nastia’s thumb stroking the back of her hand. She didn’t know how to react to the situation at hand; she was broken and her best friend was trying to pick up the pieces in a way that spoke so deeply within her.

“Why… why is it wrong?” Nastia whispered back, slowly opening her eyes. She felt Shawn shake against her; be it from anxiety or tears ready to spill out once again, she didn’t know.

Another few minutes passed once again, and silence encompassed the room. Nastia’s eyelids started to droop as time continued to pass by. Her arm remained around Shawn and her hand still covered the other girl’s. When Shawn stirred, Nastia blinked a few times, watching as the younger girl turned towards her. The torn look on Shawn’s face, mixed with the bloodshot and puffy eyes was enough to make Nastia pull the other girl into a hug, but she didn’t. Nastia didn’t want to ruin the moment if this was going to be the only opportunity Shawn was going to talk to her.

“Because… I really love you. You don’t get it Nastia,” Shawn muttered, eyes looking straight into Nastia’s. Nastia looked into Shawn’s eyes and knew what she meant. She faintly smiled and closed her eyes.

“Shawn, I love you. Maybe I haven’t actually showed it to you in a way that you would know, but the way we act is on the fence between just friends and more than friends. Shawnie, I love you with all my heart– you’re not the only one whose made radio dedications,” Nastia whispered, looking towards the other girl. She saw the confused look on Shawn’s face because she just did a dedication right in front of her, but then a knowing look crossed Shawn’s face.

“Y-you made up those dedications for me?” Shawn questioned, eyes full of hope. Nastia’s smile grew and she nodded.

“Ever since you told me about the radio station, I kept listening to it. I ended up sending my own requests and well, I remained unnamed. Luckily, the DJ played those songs immediately and you were listening,” Nastia quietly chuckled, closing her eyes.

Shawn quietly looked at Nastia, wondering if everything that was happening was real. Were they really having this conversation? Was Nastia actually telling her she loves her? Was Nastia really defining their relationship in a way that Shawn really wanted? Or was this all a dream that Shawn was living in?

“Nastia… do you really love me?” The older girl looked at Shawn quizzically.

“Shawn, I really do love you. I know you probably think that I don’t mean it in a way that you want, but I do. Shawn, there’s a reason why I always chose you to be by my side, there’s a reason why you’re my best friend, there’s a reason why dedicate those songs to you… Shawn, there’s a reason why I’m here holding you, trying to make you smile. I see the way you look at me, the way you act around me differently compared to everyone else– I notice. Shawn, would you believe me that whenever I’m with one of the other girls, I wish it was you? Would you believe me that every time I’m sad, I want you there with me; to hold me? Even if we’re in different places, if we’re in competition, I still hold you in my heart. If you look into your heart, you’ll find out that what you’re hearing is what you want to hear and need to hear.” By now, Shawn had started to cry once again; tears numbly flowing off her face.

Nastia sat up and pulled Shawn up against her, holding her. She felt the younger girl’s arms snake around her waist, clutching onto her for dear life. Her heart pounded in her chest, but she ignored it. She pulled away and pressed her lips against Shawn’s forehead before slowly pulling away and lightly pressing her lips against Shawn’s.

Suddenly, the entire world seemed lost to them. The music still sounded, but everything else seemed to stop for them.

Nastia slowly pulled away and looked down at Shawn, noticing her eyes were closed. She briefly smiled before leaning her head against Shawn’s.

Shawn could feel her heart beating against her chest after the kiss. She never felt so alive and open before. She was in love with her best friend and her best friend was in love with her. She knew things were going to change from that point on, but she knew that she had Nastia by her side. She knew that even though things may or may not work out for her, that Nastia would still love her and that she would love Nastia. The future was certainly out of sight at this moment, but she knew that she wasn’t alone in the journey to find out what would lie ahead of her and them.

“I love you Shawn, and I want you to know that you will always be a part of me. I don’t ever want to let you go or lose you– I always want you here with me,” Nastia whispered, watching as Shawn’s eyes slowly opened.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Shawn muttered, catching Nastia off guard. She saw the other girl flinch, but immediately softened at the question.

“Will you be mine?” Nastia questioned back, earning a smile from the other girl. She softly smiled and leant down for another kiss, knowing Shawn was ready to be with her.